Friendship needs no words - it is solitude delivered from the anguish of loneliness.
In old age we are like a batch of letters that someone has sent. We are no longer in the past, we have arrived.
Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five.
There is only one terminal dignity - love.
Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. Mitch Hedberg
I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
Theology is never any help; it is searching in a dark cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn't there. Theologians can persuade themselves of anything.
Robert A. Heinlein
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
Robert A. Heinlein
The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.
The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.
Life is hard. After all, it kills you.
Life is half spent before we know what it is.
We can't plan life. All we can do is be available for it.
The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail.
Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit.
A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it.
A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake.
In feature films the director is God; in documentary films God is the director.
In films murders are always very clean. I show how difficult it is and what a messy thing it is to kill a man.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.
I find that a man is as old as his work. If his work keeps him from moving forward, he will look forward with the work.
William Ernest Hocking
The two basic items necessary to sustain life are sunshine and coconut milk.
The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.
I couldn't wait for the sun to come up the next morning so that I could get out on the course again.
Golf is not a game of good shots. It's a game of bad shots.
I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.
I'm glad I brought this course, this monster, to its knees.
If we could have just screwed another head on his shoulders, he would have been the greatest golfer who ever lived.
Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club, don't you?
Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.
As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.
Without wearing any mask we are conscious of, we have a special face for each friend.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
Economic depression cannot be cured by legislative action or executive pronouncement. Economic wounds must be healed by the action of the cells of the economic body - the producers and consumers themselves.
About the time we can make the ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
Fishing is much more than fish. It is the great occasion when we may return to the fine simplicity of our forefathers.
I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
I love life because what more is there.
The perfect normal person is rare in our civilization.
Like all sciences and all valuations, the psychology of women has hitherto been considered only from the point of view of men.
Life itself still remains a very effective therapist.
Fortunately analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist.
People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.
I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.
When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
Edward W. Howe
All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity.
A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.
The friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you.
We are punished by our sins, not for them.
Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.
When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age.
Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age.
Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.
Zora Neale Hurston